


My Heart is Chained Up (below the sea)

by halfsour



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Late Night Conversations, M/M, because that's my widofjord kink apparently
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-12
Updated: 2019-05-12
Packaged: 2020-03-01 10:09:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 916
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18798226
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/halfsour/pseuds/halfsour
Summary: “But,” Caleb begins again, “I'm also here for you Fjord,” and he gestures at the tents where the rest of the group is sound asleep, “They’re all here for you.”(Fjord is used to feeling alone. Caleb shows him a different way.)





	My Heart is Chained Up (below the sea)

**Author's Note:**

> please tell fjord tough to stop keeping his emotions bottled up before this boy explodes with no empty jar to catch him. 
> 
> title is from make believe by astronaut husband (my fave fjord song)
> 
> enjoy!

After the shipwreck, Fjord was alone for a long time.

Most of the time directly after was spent recovering. His wounds deep and slow to heal, but he managed, if only thanks to his newfound skills he was discovering more of each day. Alone became normal, comfortable. The pang of jealousy watching other people out celebrating with family or friends would subside the more time passed. Everything just became routine, easy to get lost in. At least until he met Jester, and then the rest of their gang of misfits.

They were all so guarded at the beginning, secrets hidden under thinly veiled vague explanations. But they were fine, they had each other's back in battle, and that was the most important thing to Fjord.

His patron’s first visit since the group’s agreement to stay and travel together was less than ideal, but he got away with as little of an explanation as possible. Revealing the truth didn’t seem smart with how skittish a fair number of them were.

Ever so slowly, they got more comfortable, more stories and information being shared. More friendships beginning to bloom.

It didn’t stop the ever-present loneliness Fjord feels from creeping up the back of his neck. Not having a true family, and then losing a mentor in Vandran, everyone who knew the old Fjord was gone. Fjord isn’t sure he even remembers him anymore. Since waking up on the shore after that terrible night on the sea, Fjord is someone else. His dreams consumed of something dark and menacing should only terrify him, but they also feel tempting and close.

He wakes one night out of a dreamless sleep, it seems his patron is pleased with the progress he’s making, giving Fjord a respite. The rest of his compatriots are asleep, and he only finds Caleb outside of the tent, giving watch and scrubbing his hand down Frumpkin in a relaxed manner.

“Hey Caleb,” Fjord starts, clearing the sleep out of his throat, “I can take over if you’re tired.”

Caleb turns his eyes towards Fjord, but never stops his slow petting, “I’m alright, Fjord, _danke_ , but please join, if you’d like.”

Fjord slumps down next to Caleb, his back against the trunk of the tree shielding them.

They’re quiet for several minutes, Caleb every so often scanning the darkness around them, while Fjord stares at the just barely crackling fire, providing warmth against the chilled air wrapping around his arms.

“Can’t sleep?” Caleb eventually asks, eyes now back on Fjord, and a small furrow in his brow that Fjord has come to know as curiosity.

Fjord chuckles, “I guess not, uh—funny how that works.”

The furrow deepens, “How do you mean?”

“Well,” Fjord exhales heavily, “Guess I just meant, like those visions of mine aren’t bothering my sleep for once, and yet here I am, wide awake.”

Caleb hums thoughtfully, “And you miss them?”

Fjord’s immediate reaction is, “No-” but then he pauses, processing, “Not intentionally, I don’t think.”

Caleb nods, “Your patron, he’s there for you, it makes sense.”

And the thing is, Caleb doesn’t sound judgmental, as much as Fjord gets a bad taste in his mouth at the thought of actually missing the visions from U’kotoa, Caleb doesn’t show any sign of disturbance. Fjord almost resents his patron for this feeling, like he’s been drowning since the explosion, and the only hope he has at fulfillment is to do what he’s asked.

“But,” Caleb begins again, “I'm also here for you Fjord,” and he gestures at the tents where the rest of the group is sound asleep, “They’re all here for you.”

“I know, I know that,” Fjord says, “I just can’t always be as open about stuff as some of y’all.”

Caleb takes a moment to analyze Fjord, “I know we all kind of came together haphazardly, and we all have our own goals and paths, but this is the real thing Fjord, we’re not going to walk out when the going gets tough.”

Fjord has to avert his eyes away from Caleb’s soul piercing stare, beginning to tear at the grass beneath his feet, “Thank you Caleb, I didn’t realize how much I needed that.”

Caleb reaches over and places his palm against Fjord’s knee, “Our lives are full of predictable and not so predictable moments … Beau will wake up pissed off every morning until she’s had breakfast, Jester will never stop drawing dicks on things, and you will always have us to talk to about anything.”

“And the not so predictable?” Fjord asks, with a smile.

“Well,” Caleb says, “We take those moments in stride and attempt to get the hell out with our lives intact, we aren’t called the _Mighty Nein_ for no reason.”

They both laugh, and for the first time in a long while, the creeping feeling against Fjord’s back subsides and instead his chest feels full, Caleb’s kind words have filled him with a comforting glow.

Frumpkin grumbles at their loud noise and walks off angrily to find a quiet spot next to Yasha in the tent.

Caleb chuckles again, “Predictable, see?”

Fjord nods, placing his hand atop Caleb’s on his knee, “Not so predictable?”

Caleb’s smile grows soft, looking down at their hands, he clasps them together and pulls Fjord toward him. Fjord doesn’t resist, letting Caleb tug him close, and closes his eyes once Caleb gently cradles his cheek and leans in to push his lips against Fjord’s.

And Fjord knows he’s not alone anymore.

 

**Author's Note:**

> i really don't know how to not write caleb and fjord having close conversations in the dark ... looking at u liam o'brien. 
> 
> also if this reads as pro-uk'otoa, it's because i totally on the lowest of keys am, i know i know, but he seems so coooool.
> 
> i appreciate any and all feedback!


End file.
